I had one of those days: we all do have them and we all wish we could put them in a jar and pull them out at will. I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and in spite of little sleep, I felt energized, happy, awake and alive. I went to teach the 6:00 a.m. class, and I felt buoyant, joyful, and fully present to teaching. After teaching I went to the coffee shop where I laughed and chatted with the barista. At home my kids cooperated (?!) with the morning routine and were ready for school early. I laughed and chatted with friends in the hall at school drop-off. I went to teach my 9:30 a.m. class, and again, I felt energized, inspired and present. I ran some errands and felt the hum, buzz and energy of downtown Seattle on a beautiful Fall day. Then went back to the studio for my own practice, in which I flowed, completely out of my head, music cranking, nailing every handstand and challenging asana I felt like doing because I was so focused, present and detached. The whole thing was just easy and delightful. I collapsed into my restorative practice a sweaty and exhausted mess, but I hadn't even noticed that I had been working. After my restorative practice, I felt calm, detached, and content. Some of my crazy Rajastic (active) energy was diffused, but the joy and ease of the day continued. So what is that? That's the flow state.
Here's the irony: my day of joy, bliss and flow arrived on the face of some stress. I actually don't generally get stressed or anxious (it's not because I'm cool, it's simply not in my DNA), nor do I live with a lot of fear (again, not my DNA), but I'm on the cusp of some major changes: taking on risk, investing in myself (my Dharma) and the studio and all of this change and progress is landing on top of one of the slowest months the studio's had in a while. For the last few weeks, I've been thinking, "OK the universe is trying to tell me something: pull back, resist change, resist risk, play it safe . . . " It's such a boring and limiting story, but it's also so indicative of human nature—we limit ourselves with these kinds of thoughts all the time. But today was different and I will give 100% credit for my day of flow to my reading last night. I'm currently reading the most powerful translation of the Bhagavad Gita in which Krishna says to Arjuna, "One who shirks action does not attain freedom. No one can gain perfection by abstaining from work. Selfish action imprisons the world. Act selflessly, without any thought of personal profit. The ignorant work for their own profit, Arjuna; the wise work for the welfare of the world. The wise never act with selfish attachment to the fruit of their labor; they give their best in fortune and misfortune alike. Such people act in freedom."
I felt the internal shift as I read these words and I feel blessed that I carried them into my day today. I showed up to teach (the smaller than usual) classes with so much love and gratitude for the opportunity to teach, to share my work, my study, my joy, my Dharma. I hope that every day I can wake up and remember that I've stepped into my Dharma, I'm living life exactly as I want to, that doesn't mean it's always going to be easy, but I know that if I always give my best, remain detached "from the fruits of my labor", and truly love teaching like I do regardless of "fortune or misfortune," I will always be able to flow . . . . and I'm one lucky f*&$ing girl.
Svaha.
The translation of the Bhagavad Gita referenced above is by Eknath Easwaren, it's a book that should be read by every student of Yoga and really by anyone who just wants to be happy and a little more liberated. Happy reading.
